So the worst possible scenario is happening to us in BJ's case. He was supposed to move to his aunt sometime before Thanksgiving with the assumption that she was basically going to adopt him and be a parent figure/resource for him for the rest of his life. Perfect foster care outcome really because she is stable and seems to have the resources to support him. Well she backed out. She said that she and her husband, "agreed not to have children."
So now his goal will change to adoption. He is not the right fit for our family and we don't want to adopt him. I feel so guilty saying that we don't want to adopt him. I always thought that if a child needed a home I would be able to provide that home. Not true. BJ is a good kid, he does pretty well in school, everyone loves him. However, he is not a good fit for our family, there is just something missing. He lacks empathy and he is too out for himself. There is just something about him that irks us. Again, I feel so guilty saying that about a child.
Although we don't want to adopt him we have committed to him until he can find a permanent home (at least I have. I couldn't send him away to random strangers, especially after what every social worker and therapist has told me about most of the other foster homes in our area). BUT THAT COULD BE A YEAR AND A HALF! We feel so stuck because he creates a weird tension in our home but we also signed up for this and can't just ask him to move on. All summer we thought, "Just hold on until Thanksgiving" and that is what kept us going but now that is lost.
So now his goal will change to adoption. He is not the right fit for our family and we don't want to adopt him. I feel so guilty saying that we don't want to adopt him. I always thought that if a child needed a home I would be able to provide that home. Not true. BJ is a good kid, he does pretty well in school, everyone loves him. However, he is not a good fit for our family, there is just something missing. He lacks empathy and he is too out for himself. There is just something about him that irks us. Again, I feel so guilty saying that about a child.
Although we don't want to adopt him we have committed to him until he can find a permanent home (at least I have. I couldn't send him away to random strangers, especially after what every social worker and therapist has told me about most of the other foster homes in our area). BUT THAT COULD BE A YEAR AND A HALF! We feel so stuck because he creates a weird tension in our home but we also signed up for this and can't just ask him to move on. All summer we thought, "Just hold on until Thanksgiving" and that is what kept us going but now that is lost.
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