like riding a bike

You know when you are riding a bike somewhere flat and you think it's going to be easy but then you realize that you never get a break?  You are just peddling and peddling. There are no highs or lows, just a baseline effort all of the time.  That is what parenting C.C. is like.  Whereas, parenting other trauma adopted children seems like it is more like mountain biking.  Going up the hill is really hard , and sometimes you have to walk, but you also get a surge of adrenaline which feels good and when you get to the top you feel good about what you did and there are good parts like going down the hill.  It feels like we are always at a baseline and never get the good stuff.  It's not bad, just fine.  But fine isn't even good.